To the Mamas Chasing Balance: Here’s What You Need Instead

If you’re reading this, mama, you’re probably a little stressed.

And I want you to know one thing:  you’re not alone.

You might think you’re just an exception – the “hot mess” mom that can’t get it all together.

You might beat yourself up for being disorganized.

You might think you just need to perfect the art of self-care.

And honestly? If the title of this post caught your attention in the first place, I don’t think it’s any of those things.

I think you’re exactly who you were created to be, doing the best job you can for the family you’ve been entrusted with, on top of (likely) a multitude of other obligations.

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To the Mamas Chasing Balance: Here’s What You Need Instead

We are living in a unique time, aren’t we?  It’s a time where women have more “opportunities” than ever, yet the reality that we face as mothers is the conundrum of how to do it all.

So here’s my humble opinion, from one frazzled mom to another:

That elusive balance you seek won’t be found in more self-assessment, self-help or self-care.  But here are three things you might need much more than balance.

#1: Perspective

What is it that you’re trying to balance and why?

For many of us, it’s work / family life balance that is the hardest to attain.

The truth is that in today’s world, it’s very difficult for a family to survive on one income.

So whether you’re working in an office or even from home, when you have children, this is going to be a never-ending battle in your heart and mind.

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Here’s what you can do:  see the positive outcome of your hard work, both in the workplace and at home.  Think of the strong example of work ethic you’re instilling in your children.

Communicate to them the reasons you choose to work (or must work), in an age-appropriate way they can understand.

When you come home, choose to pour your joy and love into them and not your frustration at the little time you might feel you have with them.

Even for stay-at-home moms, it can be easy to feel that you’re never giving the right measure of attention to your kids versus your husband versus housework versus fill-in-the-blank.

We only have so many hours in a day, and while it’s incredibly important we prioritize certain things above others, I can guarantee that the pendulum of mom guilt is always going to swing in one direction or the other.

Realize that this is normal, make adjustments as you go, and don’t waste time regretting what you didn’t do or should’ve done each day.

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#2: Gratitude

It seems like a simple reminder, but I confess that gratitude, for me, is easily forgotten.

In the moment that I’m juggling a full work schedule, a sick child, my mom-taxi duty and two days’ worth of dirty dishes, I am not exactly reveling in thankfulness.

But acknowledging what we do have allows us to lift our eyes from our current dilemmas and keep the necessary perspective.

When I think about the fact that I have four healthy children, a loyal, hardworking husband and a sturdy roof over my head – this fortune alone should make me pause.

When I realize that I even have the ability to be in a position to worry about these people and things I’ve been given, that gratefulness starts to bubble to the surface, full force.

Suddenly I’m reminded that perfect or not, my life is truly blessed.

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#3. Grace

And for everything else :  Grace remains.

As a Christian, I’m not even sure that seeking balance is a Biblical concept.  In fact, I think it can become an idol that we pursue, and one that pivots around our own comfort and convenience.

If we instead seek to put God first, we can trust that He will sustain us and provide everything we need to fulfill the plans He has for us.

This is a constant prayer for me, in these difficult days of mothering plus so much more responsibility than I feel equipped to handle!

God doesn’t expect perfection – just obedience.

So whenever we find ourselves juggling and struggling – it’s probably at that moment we need to accept the grace we so often fail to receive.

The grace that breathes the message across our weary souls:  You alone are not enough and you don’t have to be.  Cast your cares on Me and we’ll do this together.

So prioritize as best you can.  Lower your standards a little.

Accept that the perfect balance is never going to be achievable and if it did befall you by some miracle, you probably wouldn’t recognize it.

The thing you don’t want is to wake up one day in the midst of this balance-race and find you’ve missed out on the beauty of the here-and-now while you were trying to create the perfect then-and-there.

And if we choose to set aside the exhaustion and strife for just a moment, we may find that the just-right life has already arrived.

You might also like:

• 7 Warning Signs of a Burned-Out Mom

• 6 Spiritual Goals for Christian Moms This Year

• Showing Kids Grace – When They Least Deserve it

• They Grow Up So Fast:  Holding on to the Childhood Years